Soldier's Beds
by JACmRob
Summary: Ed is drunk. Roy takes him home and contemplates what soldiers sacrifice for those they love. EdWin, Royai if you squint.


Title: Soldier's Beds

Summary: Ed is drunk. Roy takes him home and contemplates what soldiers sacrifice for those they love. EdWin, Royai if you squint.

A/N: Taking place in the middle of Brotherhood, when Furor Bradley is known to be a homunculus. Ed's assignment to Briggs is purely made-up though. Rating for some language and drinking.

* * *

><p>It had started out as great night, especially with an attractive blonde eyeing him from across the room—until Roy spotted <em>another<em> blonde head belonging to a certain short pain-in-the-ass.

"Y'know, I never understood why you people left the office for happy hour, but…I get it now."

Roy surveyed his subordinate, who let out a loud burp.

"How'd you even get _in_ here, Fullmetal?"

With a grin, the younger alchemist clumsily tugged up his shirt hem—for a wild second, Roy thought he was about to strip—and revealed his silver pocketwatch, swinging lazily from his belt.

"Abusing your privileges, I see."

"What? _You're_ here."

"I'm old enough to be here. You're hardly old enough to drive a car. You shouldn't be drinking."

Edward made a rude hand gesture and tipped back his glass, downing the rest of his drink.

"You wait til _now_ to start treating me like a kid? Guess 'm also too young to ship out to Briggs next week too…"

"You can do whatever you like, as long as you keep showing up to the office," Roy took a sip of his beer and then glared at Edward, "—_in fit condition_."

"Y'know what? You're no fun to drink with." Ed stood up from the bar counter, knocking over his stool, and Roy realized how drunk his subordinate really was.

"Where are you going?"

The boy swayed and glared at him. "Briggs."

"Oh come _on_. Pouting about your assignments is getting old, Fullmetal."

"North is shit. Makes my automail ports hurt. Sucks. _You_—" He thrust a wobbling finger at Roy. "—wouldn't know."

Roy grimaced. He hadn't known that about the cold. Ed wore his automail with such ease that it made Roy forget about the difficulty of having metal limbs drilled right into one's nervous system, the physical therapy that went along with maintenance. Not to mention, if Ed's automail was weakened, he'd be throwing the boy into a riskier situation than usual.

"Maybe you should get a tuneup before you go then. You're pretty bad at hiding how much you love that cute mechanic of yours, you could—"

"_Don't talk about her!"_

Roy slammed back against the bar as he was subject to a faceful of the younger alchemist, his boozy breath heavy on Roy's face.

"I see I touched a nerve." Roy pushed Ed off him, giving the boy an awkward pat on the shoulder. To his horror, his subordinate's face grew more distressed.

"She s-stays _out_, Colonel, away from the fucking military, away from _me_, away from psycho Furur-homunculus—"

Roy clapped a hand over Ed's mouth.

"Shut _up_," he hissed through gritted teeth. Damn, the kid was going to get them all killed if he wasn't careful. Ed struggled in Roy's grip, mouthing muted curses. "Shut up, you idiot, you _know_ you can't—Aghh!"

Roy released his subordinate with a yelp. The brat had bitten him.

"Alright, we're going," Roy snapped, before Ed had the chance to start ranting for the whole bar to hear. He firmly grasped the boy's shoulders and steered him to the door. The night greeted them with a flurry of snow, stinging Roy's face.

"Where're you taking me?" Ed mumbled in protest.

"Home. You've had enough to drink, and if you want to protect your mechanic friend, you shouldn't go shouting military secrets in public."

"Fuck—Winry. Is she—he doesn't—he can't have heard…_fuck_. I gotta call her, make sure—"

"Relax, Fullmetal." Roy slung the boy's arm over his shoulder, propping him up and leading him down the snowy sidewalk. Ed took a few staggering steps; Roy corrected his course, steadying his hand around the boy's waist. "No one heard you. She's fine."

"Can't get her involved." Ed tugged at his hair; golden strands were coming loose from his braid. "Can't let her get killed."

"You're drunk, Edward. Your mechanic's not in any danger."

As if his legs had suddenly given up, the boy slumped against him. Roy's knees buckled and he sank to the ground with Edward's head knocking into his shoulder.

"'S not true. Everyone I love goes—Mom, Dad, Al…ev'n Maes Hughes died 'cause of me. 'Cause he stuck around me. Everyone 'm close to, I lose. Can't lose Winry too."

Roy ran his hand up and down the boy's shoulder blades, hoping desperately that he wouldn't remember this tomorrow. "You won't lose her. She's fine. She's okay."

Edward hitched a breath and made a strangled sound somewhere between a hiccup and a sob. "Gotta call her," he said miserably. "I never call. Never visit. Don't want her dead too."

"Call her tomorrow," Roy said firmly, "when you're sober. It's freezing. Let's get you home."

Roy pulled the boy to his feet. Ed didn't do much to help the process of walking back, constantly veering left or right while Roy struggled to keep him vertical. Damn kid shouldn't be drinking. A drunk Fullmetal was possibly more difficult than a sober Fullmetal.

Roy fumbled his way into the military dorms, dragging a belligerent Ed up the stairs. Idiot was going to fall face-first and lose a tooth. _It'd serve him right_, Roy grumbled. Ed could probably take it from here. But he didn't need any more injuries on his staff; it couldn't hurt to see the kid safely in.

"C'mon Fullmetal, into bed," he commanded, opening the dormitory door and pushing the boy into the room. Ed landed with a _whump_ on the twin bed, and then grunted sleepily, curling into a ball. Roy sighed, sitting on the bed and prying the kid's shoes off. He reached across Ed's body, fishing his arms out of the sleeves of his long red coat—first metal, then flesh.

"Colonel…" Ed suddenly mumbled.

"Yes?"

The boy rolled over, blinking at Roy from beneath heavy lids.

"What do you do? To pr'tect the people you love. I hate staying away from her. But I only bring trouble."

Roy felt a stab of pain. What did he know about that? All the people he loved were on the front lines—Riza, Havoc, comrades from Ishval, hell, even the Elric brothers… He put them in danger countless times. Hughes was gone. The one friend who had made it back from Ishval by his side. It was only a matter of time before he lost someone else. Fullmetal was right to be afraid.

"There are things you can't control, Edward. Try all you like—throw yourself in front of them all your life, you still can't stop freak accidents or sickness or mistakes."

"Please, Colonel," Edward looked up at him with broken eyes. "Tell me what't do."

"You stop feeling responsible. You can't protect everyone." Roy sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "You won't remember this tomorrow anyway. Get some sleep, Fullmetal."

"Can't…lose her," he mumbled sleepily, rolling back over, wrapping his arms tight round his body. "Winry…"

Roy untucked the blanket from beneath Edward, pulling it over the prone figure. He was fully unconscious now, but Roy didn't get up from the bed, staring at the sleeping boy. _I'm as helpless as he is._ Death was constantly waiting around the corner; Roy had accepted this in Ishval. It was either that, or let the fear overwhelm him. Life was only as long as number of seconds you stayed alive. _Kid's too young for that old soldier's mantra._

Roy rested his hand on Edward's head, threading his fingers through the boy's golden hair. _Let that girl live_, he willed. _Or let him learn to swallow his love_.

_Like I do_. Unwillingly, a face swam in his mind. Firm cheekbones, proud brows, yellow hair coiled up and gun cocked… Here today, dead tomorrow. A soldier was right to keep his bed empty.

* * *

><p>AN: wow my first fanfic in a while. I recently _fell in love_ with FMA. and I love some good Ed angst. Bless that boy.

-JR


End file.
